candy hearts

Heart shaped candy 

spells out emotions

love you, miss you, with you forever

I swallow those chalky words

words that once lingered on his tongue

sugary, sweet, artificial

A chalky crunch

A box full of font 

proclaiming love sick claims

I love you...not 

  

4 days

I miss you

No, I missed you 

Just by four days

60 seconds in a minute 

60 minutes in an hour 

24 hours in a day 

4 days 

too late

I multiply the moments 

resting my thoughts on times tables

I try to quantify, objectify, the reasons why 

I stayed

Why I didn't come home the second I heard

Instead, I stayed an ocean away 

I miss you

No I missed you

Just by 4 days

60 seconds in a minute

60 minutes in an hour

24 hours in a day 

4 days

too late

Start of something new..

I have set a new goal for myself: to write a poem everyday for the next year. Ideally I'll spend anywhere from 10-30 minutes per poem. In the end, I will have 365 mini poems which I can later edit/make legible and possibly even submit for publication. There will be no excuse for not writing. Not only will this endeavor force me to become disciplined and committed, but it will also help me grow tremendously as a writer. There will be no putting off writing because of homework, stress etc. Even if the poem is a short, incoherent babble about what I ate for breakfast, forcing myself to write will be mandatory. I start tomorrow, February 12; a completely arbitrary date, but a good one nonetheless. One more note: I will NOT be editing my poems. The point of this exercise is to consistently write for a short span of time every day. I can always go back and edit the poems that have the most potential. Here's to the next year. Cheers! 

Insomnia (and I'm not talking the cookies)

I guess the title says it all; I just can't fall asleep...

warm milk...tried it

relaxing music....tried it (I have actually made it through my "bedtime" playlist twice already)  

I'm at a loss. 

I wish my blog entries could tell tales of foreign travels and scandalous escapades (ok, perhaps not the latter...this is me after all)...But I read blogs written by friends studying abroad and I can't help but feel like my blog lacks any real substance. I also notice that I tend to write only when I have some sort of problem or general anxiety. I really have no reason to be stressed tonight. I have done all my work due Monday and Tuesday. What do I have to worry about? 

I guess the F word has been on my mind...Future that is...Haha! Geez, I love how my corny sense of humor can translate into writing. I feel like everyone generally knows what they want to do after graduation. Me? I'm still that freshman exploratory student who shows up to her 8am poetry class 20 minutes early because she doesn't want be late. Does anyone else still feel like a first semester freshman? I have to be reasonable though. I have grown up so much since freshman year. As much as I detest speaking in class, I am a heck of a lot better than I once was. I am definitely more confident in myself as a writer and as a student in general. In high school I genuinely thought I was a below average student. People here are surprised to learn I didn't do all that great back in the day. 

In all seriousness I can see I have grown and matured since I first set foot in Ithaca. I guess I just expected to know more about the direction my life would be heading in. 

Possible careers:

English professor

Speech pathologist

school psychologist

Editor/Writer

There are definitely pros and cons to all of the above career choices. I just wish I had more time as an undergraduate. If I could just continue to take English classes for the rest of my life I would be a very happy camper. The English faculty at IC has been incredible. Honestly, I would take Shakespeare over and over again. Van Wilder plan? Naaah. I do look forward to the future, I really do; I just don't know what's in store for me. Better too many options rather than too few. I know everything will work out in the end. All's well that ends well. uhh...darn I'm out of cliches for the moment...

While I don't know if there is anyone who actually readas this blog, I promise in the future to have at least a couple of upbeat entries. I promise, I am a happy person. Don't worry, be happy (Yes one more cliche!  :) )

Happy blogging!